Loathing and Surving in Warneford Halls Expected Later This Year

Each campus in Brookes is now covered with a rally of students the size of a animal choice march. Trading security over newcomer flat-hunt confusion first years pack into Cheney Student Village and cram like spam in Warneford Halls. Brookes owns a lot of property round town, locals frequently tell, don't expect Warneford to be given the same status as the 2008 Morrell development. Six to a hall, rooms half the size of what you might get for one in a shared house at the same price. The claustrophobia of Warneford induces a cameraderie for survival's sake, though favours the louder messier students. These boisterous dickheads will become as marganalised as the loner if they keep up with the misguided notion that when they come in drunk at 3am their neighbours all care enough to merit a 3am alarm call. A hall warden pal tells me that the fines for abusing hall policy has gone up to 300pound.
Stunned, I ask him, "What for ?"
"Only the more serious offences. The tendency is to apply them to the rahs"
"Rahs ?"
"Rahce", he intones, harnessing his rich-bred verbal experiences in priveleged audio. "Obviously they can afford it. By and large though, I'd much rather give them community service. A hundred hours community service ! You'd like that wouldnt you Steve ?". The barman laughs, "Put them to good use. Tidying the grounds." During my year at Warneford a few pals chose the central courtyard as the venue for a spontaneous fireworks display. The penalty was about 12 hrs of community service per showman - lifting bins, brushing paths. Theres talk of providing them with flourescent jackets and blue emblazoned Community Service across the back, font 64.

300 must be a nice little money earner for the University.

"Studying Japanese is shite at Brookes. Theres only six universities in the UK offering it."
"By doubling the availability (in the seriously restricted classes), they could pull in another 200 students, and get proper finances for a properly constructed department."

I file this away near the story I heard from an Indian student in Cheney, and consider how hard it must be to travel. He'd fallen afoul of the University's three-strikes- and-you're-out rule on Hallnet. Skype has recently made the list of banned applications at Brookes and his crime of talking to his friends lost him the privelege of a web connection. Hypocrisy being webcam applications take up more of the networks' power roams unharmed. "They'd much rather students pay the private phone companies", he says with resignation. Hallnet has a ban on all P2P networking, with the exception of sharing with others on campus via iTunes. Insider information has it that staff passwords are exempt from this ruling, though I'm much too busy to verify this.

Anyway, lest this turn into a doom-and-gloom apocalypse pre-interwebs news, maybe we should step outside and have a cigarette. Smokers are registered in Brookes halls now. I've been told they have to have a 'Smoker' sticker on their door. I might also advise them that even a small sock fits quite snugly around the smoke alarms. The hardest working folk at the University are the Student Support people who provide a wide range of counselling and advice services. Relocating and intensive work create a greater awareness of personal problems, and the emergence of fashionable comfortable therapies like co-counselling and CBT with all its time-travel will and choice possibilities make for a increasingly assured reception. As well Brookes providing notetakers, a dedicated speedy and professional team under Craig Prosser, who when faced with a budgetary cut fought with such conviction that they were awarded an increase. I've not gone far through Upgrade yet, but the word is that this service by the Library is invaluable. Joining societies at Brookes gets you out of the house, out of the clique and provides a pipeway for meeting new people and taking new actions.

I have to stop there. My Brookes Bus pass has run out meaning I have neither the option of 60p assistance on the Oxford Bus Company or 70p plus pass on Stagecoach. Ah well, term starts on Monday, and its the best time to look for financial assistance.